LASTING RELATIONSHIPS
We are sending
satellites into the far reaches of the universe and yet our greatest
challenge is relationships. Divorce rate averages 50%, managers and
employees are often in crises, governments can’t get along, and
children are challenged in schools.
We need to be studying
how to have better relationships. This link provides tips, ideas and
even stories on how to improve on our relationships. It will develop
and change over time.
No Regrets-A short story
At the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, the sport of canoe racing was
added to the list of international competitions. The favorite team
in the four-man canoe race was the United States team. One member of
that team was a young man by the name of Bill Havens.
As the time for the Olympics neared, it became clear that Bill's
wife would give birth to their first child about the time that the
U.S. team would be competing in the Paris games. In 1924 there were
no jet airliners from Paris to the United States, only slow ocean
going ships. And so Bill found himself in a dilemma. Should he go to
Paris and risk not being at his wife's side when their baby was
born? Or should he withdraw from the team and remain with his
family?
Bill's wife insisted that he go to Paris. After all, competing in
the Olympics was the culmination of a life long dream. But Bill felt
conflicted and, after much soul searching, decided to withdraw from
the competition and remain home, where he could support his wife
when the child arrived. He considered being at her side his highest
priority, even higher than going to Paris to fulfill his dream.
As it turned out, the United States four-man canoe team won the gold
medal in Paris. And Bill's wife was late in giving birth to their
child. She was so late, in fact, that Bill could have competed in
the event and returned home in time to be with her when she gave
birth.
People said, "What a shame." But Bill said he had no regrets. For
the rest of his life, he believed he had made the better decision.
Bill Havens knew what was most important to him. Not everybody
figures that out. And he acted on what he believed was best. Not
everybody has the strength of character to say no to something he or
she truly wants in order to say yes to something that truly matters.
But for Bill, it was the only way to peace; the only way to no
regrets.
There is an interesting sequel to the story of Bill Havens...
The child eventually born to Bill and his wife was a boy, whom they
named Frank. Twenty eight years later, in 1952, Bill received a
cablegram from Frank. It was sent from Helsinki, Finland, where the
1952 Olympics were being held. The cablegram read: "Dad, I won. I'm
bringing home the gold medal you lost while waiting for me to be
born."
Frank Havens had just won the gold medal for the United States in
the canoe racing event, a medal his father had dreamed of winning
but never did. Like I said, no regrets.
Thomas Kinkade eloquently said, "When we learn to say a deep,
passionate yes to the things that really matter, then peace begins
to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest
floor."
Steve Goodier
Author and Speaker
Don't Hope, Friend...Decide! -A short story
While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland,
Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear
other people talk about - the kind that sneaks up on you
unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.
Straining to locate my
friend among the passengers deplaning through the jetway, I noticed
a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right
next to me to greet his family.
First he motioned to
his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags.
They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to
look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to
see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly,
averted his eyes,
and replied softly, "Me, too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up,
gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and
while cupping his son's face in his hands said, "You're already
quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!" They too hugged a
most loving, tender hug. While this was happening, a baby girl
(perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her
mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful
sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi, baby girl!" as he
gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face
all
over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from
side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her
head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment. After several
moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared,
"I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the
longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into
her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, "I love you
so much!" They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at
one another, while holding both hands. For an instant they reminded
me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they
couldn't possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized
how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of
unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I
suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred,
but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long
have you two been married?" "Been together fourteen years total,
married twelve of those," he replied, without breaking his gaze from
his lovely wife's face.
"Well then, how long
have you been away?" I asked. The man finally turned and looked at
me, still beaming his joyous smile. "Two whole days!" Two days? I
was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he'd
been gone for at least several weeks - if not months. I know my
expression betrayed me, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my
intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching
for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after
twelve years!" The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me
straight in the eye, and with a forcefulness that burned right into
my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He
told me, "Don't hope, friend...decide." Then he flashed me his
wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!" With
that, he and his family turned and strode away together. I was still
watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out
of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking
at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I
replied, "My future!" Michael Hargrove
Charity of Poor
People - A short story
He was not your typical cabbie. As we took off from the downtown
Hyatt en route to the Kansas City Airport, he drove by what appeared
to be a sparsely furnished office in a relatively seedy section of
downtown. Then he said proudly, "That's my office!" The window front
said "COPP" on it. He said, "I take care of the invisible 10,000
Kansas City homeless out of there." I could sense the emotion in his
words. My eyes started tearing up. "Yep," Richard Tripp said, "I
feed 800 people Christmas breakfast when they get kicked out of the
regular shelters that are preparing for Christmas dinner. I started
COPP (Charity of Poor People) when I got back on my feet again after
being homeless for six months. I'd been hackin' for 20 years and got
too many speedin' tickets, lost my license and was suddenly
homeless. It wasn't too bad. See those truckin' yards? They got
heavy plastic that I pulled out of their garbage cans. Heavy duty
plastic makes a rainproof tent and sleepin' bag that'll keep you
alive. I slept in those woods over there every night for six months.
If someone's homeless over six months, nine out of ten of `em will
stay permanently homeless. I give `em a new choice and a chance. "We
don't take no money - only food, long johns, and real stuff the
homeless need now. I go on the radio and get lots of stuff. "Last
year a husband and wife who heard me on the radio came into COPP,
and I touched `em because I talk with my heart. The couple's
five-year-old daughter got killed by a hit-and-run driver. They gave
gloves to 800 people in memory of their daughter. It was the best
and most useful gift I ever saw anyone give. Everyone thanked `em
and cried because their hands would not freeze anymore." Because of
Richard Tripp, 5,000 of the 10,000 homeless people in Kansas City
have been served meals and provided clothing on a yearly basis.
-
By Mark Victor
Hansen
-
from A Cup of
Chicken Soup for the Soul
-
Copyright 1996 by
Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk
